Feelings

It's been so long i never have this kind of feelings. I love, I Give, I suffer, ended up i got nothing. Friends had been asking me to think twice, whether we are suitable to be together, from what she said, she does, she is already telling me what's her decision. Unfortunately I couldn't let go. I love her with no doubt, im really willing to give her whatever I got. I mean it. She is telling me that he kept tracking on her phone, sms, facebook and msn. He sent alot of msgs to me with her phone, ask me not to disturb her anymore. But I heard from my friend, that her bf telling the different things. I am confuse. I am so blur.

I got this from your page

我鼓足了勇气说出分手。我知道我会承受很大的痛苦。心里太乱，想了太多东西。第二天醒来，以为昨晚是一场梦。昨晚的短信还没删，一切都那么真实。

突然感觉心里酸酸的。虽然舍不得，但是已经放手了。男人<就该拿的起放的下。我知道心里会有留恋，会有如果。

但是，这样的感情太累了。我不再热衷什么，不再强求什么。我想以这样的方式来结束三年的感情。给你最后说一声再见。

以后路的还长，会改变很多东西。一直不是很了解你。不知道你是一个怎样的人。还是想祝福你以后的路要走好。呵，我现在是用什么身份给你说。没有资格了。

以后再也不会有谁会让我这样牵挂。或许是好事吧。至少自己不会那么伤心。以前不知道别人失恋的痛苦。现在自己体<会到了。我们终于还是分开了。看到以前的一点一滴，苦笑。心里的苦又有谁了解。

我还是像以前一样若无其事。还有很多话没有对你说。心里面再也不会有你了。我会珍藏这份记忆。至少对我来说它很重要。三年来，和你分分合合多少次。再好的感情也会有裂痕的。虽然我还是那么爱你。

第一次觉得放不下.
第一次心情像海洋.
第一次无力抵挡.
第一次会那么的渴望.

谢谢你给我带了前所未有快乐.只有在你身上.我才找的到一点恋爱的感觉.我早知道你不在乎了。我一直以为我会很快忘了你.我会在你面前装做多不在乎你.我会装的很快乐.我失去的只是一个不爱我的人.而你,却失去了一个爱你的人.

我们完了。

从现在开始就是自己一个人过了。以后别在那么投入了。

爱由一个微笑开始，用一个吻来成长，用一滴泪去结束.

当你爱上一个人而不被对方所爱，会是一件很受伤害的事。但最痛苦的莫过你爱一个人而却不得不分开。

如果有一天。你能到我的心里去,你一定会流泪。因为那里面全是我给你的爱。

如果有一天。我能到你的心里去,我也会流泪。因为那里面全是你的无所谓。

还未来的及感慨。
你已在不经意间离开。
终散成泡沫。
谁都不是谁的谁。
我很想对自己说。开心一点吧。其实没什么大不了。

可是……可是。我最放不下的人始终是你。一直都是。爱到最后。你还是你。我却不是那个自己。

是不是只有伤害才是唯一的退路。
是不是只有遗忘才是唯一的出路。

记的谁说过。遗忘并不是记忆真的消失了。只是你找不到了。但愿我能很快将你遗忘。

如果有一天。我们忘记了彼此。那该有多好。我给过你的一切。你随时可以抛弃。包括记忆。最后。还是只剩我一人。过完这一季。悲伤是否还是那么凉……

I got this post from facebook. It shows me how You feel. And it shows what I am feeling right now. I know you forced to make the decision but you couldn't let it go, like what I am. I will keep myself happy and I wish you are happy too. We don't know what will happen in our life, but i promise you. You will see the happy, healthy me.

Life is full with disappointments, and there are hopes too. I let go because it is not the time for me to have you. I strongly believe that if we really belongs to each other, we will be together one day. Who knows?
I have too many things wanted to let you know, and I will find my way. So, no worry. I will keep updating my blogs nowadays. Just for you to see, and to understand what I am doing lately. =) <3 YOu

~雨一直下~

雨一直下　氣氛不算融洽
在同個屋簷下 你漸漸感到心在變化
你愛著他　也許也帶著恨吧
青春耗了一大半　原來只是陪他玩耍
正想離開她　他卻拿著鮮花 說不著邊的話　讓整個場面更加尷尬
不可思議吧　夢在瞬間崩塌 為何當初那麼傻　還一心想要嫁給他
就是愛到深處才怨他　捨不捨得都斷了吧
那是從來都沒有後路的懸崖
就是愛到深處才由他　碎了心也要放得下
難道忘了那愛他的傷　已密密麻麻
不要再為了他掙扎　不要再為他左牽右掛
今後不管他愛不愛誰　快樂嗎　都隨他

! I am Back !

Well, I seldom got chance to update my blog ( one of the reason is just because I'm f**king lazy )

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I had been gone through a lot of things in this few months. I changed a lot, the people i met, the things i involved, incidents that happened on me. They teach me a lot of things, teach me how to be a better man, teach me how to protect myself more, and they teach me to be patient.

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I am running some business with friends, but i find out that when things come to money, even ur best friends, they can't be trusted as well. Someone told me that, everyone will think for themselves first before they thinking for you. No matter how pretty they talk in front of you, when things really happen, we will see the truth.

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I am worrying about all the business thingy and this makes me having insomnia. I was a f**king piggy who can even sleep more than 24 hrs if i have the time. However, I can't even sleep for at least a 4 hours. Everyone tells me that I shouldn't like that, I should have taking some rest after busy for the whole day. Well, I want to say thanks to all the people who are always supporting me, helping me out alot there. I really appreaciate what you guys have done. Thanks a lot buddies !

** Sick **

It has been three days, I got flu and sorethroat, I hardly can remember when was the last time I sick, something that different is, there's no one beside me to take care of me, asking how am I, worrying bout me or forcing me to take medicine. I took medicine that bought from the pharmacy but end up this morning I still cannot go to work. So decided to make a call to my manager and inform her about this.

In the afternoon, I was forced to get my ass up to go and see the doctor cause i need the MC!!! It wasted me RM 35.00 ~ DAMM it ! Ish~ but anyway, I got no choice just have to do so.

Yesterday night after i went to KLCC just to pay a visit to this petronas F1 roadshow. Simply because my friends working there. After that, during my way home, i received a call from my ex's mum. She kept asking me whether we are still going to continue the relationship. I told her honestly, I can't. I am tired of those days, quarreling everyday because of small matters. I begged like a beggar, just to get back to her. But she will keep asking to break. I am not those guys who will give up easily. But i had been begging for a whole year. I am tired of this kind of relationship. May be for somebody, I am just a cold-blooded person. I know love isn't the reason for me to stay in this relationship anymore. I loved her, but, isn't it better if i set her free? Both of us might not suffer for this relationship anymore.

离开以后

好久没写blog了，突然很怀念中学时期，动笔写文章的那段日子。

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最近一直为了她的事而烦，两天一小吵，五天一大吵，这种日子真得过得有点累了。突然间发现，其实我一直都在拖拖拉拉，并不是还爱着她，只是舍不得拿三年的感情罢了。有些时候还真不明白，我一直都在告诉自己，其实我还爱她；但，如果双方都还有爱的话，那这段感情是不是还能够好好的经营下去呢？

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其实，我脑袋空空的，什么也想不到，也不懂再怎么继续写下去，有谁能够陪我聊聊？